Mailbag: What are you? No, seriously…

February 13th, 2020

Dear Saharah:
Since you’re such a unique personality in Femdom, I was wondering how you identify yourself when talking about what you do to others who aren’t familiar with fetish or D/s. Would you call yourself a dominatrix, a prodomme, a Mistress or something else? I sometimes feel none of these ideas really hit you square on.

Respectfully, Kevin

Dear Kevin,

This is really a great question. I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to expound a little more about this subject, and you’ve provided one.

Truthfully, I don’t see myself as fitting into any of those categories. For starters, I don’t top men for money as a professional dominatrix does.

Don’t get me wrong—I don’t have a problem with that at all.

Plenty of Women are doing just that and making a reasonable dime off it  but being paid by a “client” for fantasy fulfillment is just not something I find appealing for a number of reasons.

“Dominatrix” just seems a bit dated and campy, not to mention too thigh-high and officer hat for me. I like “Mistress”, but again, popular consumption of the word just leaves me divorced from using it seriously in public.

Female-Led Keeper, on the other hand, feels good to me personally, because all it really implies is that I tend to be the decision maker one in my interpersonal relations.

It doesn’t mean I’m a top service provider, a prostitute for hire, someone’s extramarital interest in kinky friend between the sheets.

It rings with an authorative “pack animal” status to me, so that’s why I tend to embrace it the most. For this reason, “Dominant Woman” would equally suffice.

I’d just like to add that though labels can be very helpful, we should never just see dominant Women (or submissive men, for that matter) as strictly one-dimensional beings, summed up perfectly in whatever moniker you (or they) choose.

Labels are essential in communicating ideas and information, but they are just a starting point in referencing an aspect of personality or status.  Lets not ever forget the human behind them.

All text in this post © 2010

100 Most Powerful Women

October 14th, 2010
They are heads of state and first ladies, bankers and cultural icons, CEOs and entrepreneurial athletes. A fresh look at power and creative influence.

All text in this post © 2011


December 22nd, 2009

I recently had the pleasure of watching Avatar, the new groundbreaking film written and directed by the long absent Director James Cameron. There were plenty of things to like about this movie; the effects and world design, just to start. What impressed Me particularly about this effort were the many subtexts present in the story as it unraveled. No one can deny the film’s symbolic value to many of the issues facing us as humans today on Earth, or “The Dying World”, as it is referred to in the movie. Cameron makes astute points about the poison of corporate greed and rampant militarization, which can easily be applied to Western entanglement in the Middle East today (the region of which apparently experienced some scandal over this film) and the obvious arrogance of our major financial and commercial institutions. It serves easily as a parable of the plight of Native American tribes in early America. It has an unmistakable green message, too, reminding us of the value of nature, which is sacred to the Na’vi: the alien tribe of the film indigenous to the world of Pandora. Read the rest of this entry »