Misunderstood: The Unconventional World of Autogynephiles

July 17th, 2019

When our sexual tastes aren’t perfectly aligned with what society allows us to enjoy, the bar of difficulty in finding someone to love, and one that will be receptive to that love, rises substantially higher. There are some men who, despite their sexual orientations, enjoy imitating Women, and this act of transformation is self-arousing. Men with this form of cross-dressing fetish engage in what is called “autogynephilia,” and it’s one of the hardest things they endure in the attempt to be accepted in intimate relationships. Autogynephilia’s Greek translation is “love of oneself as a Woman,” and is a term coined in 1989 by Dr. Raymond Blanchard to refer to a man’s tendency to be sexually aroused by the image of himself as a Woman.

We live in a world that is widely sensational and ill-informed, and because of this, a great deal of ignorance exists regarding men with these preferences. The first (and perhaps most obvious) misconception is that such men must be homosexual.  The simple fact of a male finding arousal in seeing himself as a Female doesn’t necessarily mean he’s sexually oriented toward males: many are heterosexual and still desire a relationship with a Woman. Therein lies the rub: a man coming to terms with this reality often finds himself severely stereotyped. If he’s too open about it— there will likely be a price paid for that openness, and one that will, in all likelihood, be paid through distress, isolation, and depression. Because of this, he’ll usually retreat into the security of conventional relationships and sanctioned sexual expressions allotted to his sex, or the auspices of these things, in the very least. He’ll marry a Woman and secret away his underlying urges under the naive yet prevailing logic that he can hide it all. But as Phillip K. Dick once wrote, Reality denied comes back to haunt. What is pushed underground eventually finds its way up into in the picturesque world of normalcy, slowly infecting its waters with angst and frustration. Perhaps a man in this situation thinks he can vent his desires secretly beyond the knowledge of his Wife, but this is a fool’s errand: sooner or later, the Wife, having lived with him under the terminal assumption of his normalcy, discovers the truth. His secrets are often not well understood or accepted especially when found out this way. In fact, the truth of his entire person may very well come under question, and She’s justified in that, if he’s conspired to hide something so important to him from Her knowledge. 

But this is often how it goes. Often, autogynephiles are stereotyped. Most think they are all the same: that they are perverts, predators, inverted misogynists, or just generally unwell—but this is far from the truth. Some do project a sort of inner misogyny as sometimes seen in the FemDom world. But many have a genuine love for Women and honor them. And so it’s not so smart to paint all men who enjoy seeing themselves as Women as negative: as with most things in life, there is a variety of different types, with different motives and dispositions. 

Having been served by such men before, I’ve decided to open My arms to one more again. I’m looking for a male who eroticizes femininity as a part of who he is, though he is not defined by this fetish. He must have a deep love and respect for Women and wishes to enter into a Female-led relationship: with one Woman, long-term. But I’m not looking simply for a fetishist. I want to make that crystal clear. I’m not the type of Woman who offers “sessions” by the hour, nor do I ever open My door to excessive prurience. I’m not into debauchery and cuckholding/swingers type of entertainment. I’m looking for a man who will adore Me and who wants a real relationship with a Woman. He needs to be healthy of mind and body, not weighed down with narcissism. Autogynephiles can be very self-absorbed; you must be different. You must understand what mature love is and how it differs from needy love.

In short, I want a full, broadband human being, not one who sees Me as some sort of one-dimensional image before which he unloads his fetishes. Further, he is at peace with himself, not taxed by “dysphoria” or delusional notions that he is a woman. His penchant to reflect Feminine forms within himself neither invalidates nor encroaches upon his respect for Women. 

Compatibility is important too— just as it is in all other types of relationships. He understands that relationships are forged in chemistry. Mutual priorities and similar likings alone are not enough to sustain a relationship, though. Centering the relationship around the man’s fetish also isn’t what I’m wanting to do. This union will be about serving Me as the true embodiment of the Feminine Divine, with the man as a worshipful adherent to Feminine joys and aesthetics. His desire to transform himself will be indulged but in service to and honor of the Female, and Myself. 

What other qualities do I seek?

1. His fetishes don’t consume him.

2. He bows before Women in gratitude, recognizing them as inspiration to what propels him internally, knowing he could never be a Female, but strives to embody the Feminine in his worship, all the same. 

3. He understands and accepts that fundamentally he’s still male and won’t allow the lines to blur. 

4. He is older. Younger men don’t have the wisdom I seek: they are still evolving. It takes time for males to come to terms with these drives and to know how to properly manifest them.

5. He knows that being exposed and feeling vulnerable in the right hands is a difficult gift to find. He cherishes it. 

6. He’ll value a relationship with the right Woman, and so he will be grateful and attentive toward making it work.

7. He enjoys traveling the world, and his career permits him to travel at least twice a year.

What I’m NOT looking for:

1. Career fetishists and casual BDSM types. I have nothing against BDSM but it attracts a fair sum of prurient hedonists more in love with acts than the essence of a deep, meaningful relationships. 

2. Anyone overly sexual and preoccupied with their fantasies to the exclusion of deeper sincerity. 

3. Cuckholds who are simply looking for bisexual hijinks. Again, strict focus on fetishes is not what I’m after. My dominance is real but it’s organic and is expressed how I desire. I don’t and won’t follow a man’s scripts and psycho dramatics. 

If you think you have all the qualities I seek, I welcome your introductory message. Be prepared for a lengthy vet. Live between the coasts of New Jersey and New Hampshire. Please be between the ages of 38-58. 

You may call Me on Niteflirt or write Me on Fetlife, if you wish — starting July 1, 2018. I may add an email to this blog to use as well.

Thank you!

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Below are links to help males (and the Women who love them) who may want to better understand Autogynephilia.

A History of Autogynephilia

Autogynephilia and the Typology of Male-to-Female Transsexualism: Concepts and Controversies

What Autogynephilia is, and what is it not; a brief note

Pornography and Autogynephilia in the narratives of adult transgender males

New Writings and Photos Update entitled “Bad Girls and Cluster B Personalities” is now available inside the Private Journal of the Member Area.

August 26th, 2017

New UpDate:

Mmm, Bad Girls!!  Are fans of FemDom attracted to Women with Cluster B Personalities? 

 



 
 
 
 

New Video Update entitled “Slaves' Releases Are An After-Thought” is now available inside the Private Journal of the Member Area.

August 26th, 2017

New Video: Slaves’ Releases Are An After-Thought

Like any Mistress, I don’t prioritize My slaves’ sexual pleasures.  Often slaves are teased, denied and/or ignored.  Oh, don’t worry:  slaves love Us for this sort of treatment!  I’ll be writing an article soon on the psychology behind chastity-slaves and why they are so addicted to being denied.  (Men: call Me on Niteflirt if you’d like to share your thoughts)  Stay tuned.
New Video:  While I put My make-up on before meeting My Girlfriend for Happy Hour, I condescended to allow My slave to release. As per usual, I basically ignored the creature as he jerks out that pent-up, gross white mess from his piss pump. LOL Male orgasms are insignificant unless they are controlled and used for a Woman’s purpose.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

When the Virtual Metamorphoses Into a Reality

May 14th, 2014

 
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Often times online references to “slavery” are not talking about slavery but rather the simulation of slavery; a fun fantasy adults engage in behind closed doors or a commercial venture for porn companies or Pro-Dominatrices.  For a small handful of others, slavery is a very real, choice-based way of life.

Cross-Dressing Slave's Lesson On Roe vs. Wade and Constitutional Undermining by "Anti-Women-Autonomy" State Legislators

January 26th, 2014

Of course My faithful readers know that I am always ready to use a slave for My entertainment. This is a pleasant recreation when the beast is not busy toiling for Me. Not so recreational for him, maybe, but for Me it is good fun– which is all that matters. Sometimes I particularly enjoy feminizing a male, not only is his pathetic attempts to dress like a Woman and mimic Feminine grace quite hilarious, but ridiculing the miserable creature serves multiple purposes. First it amuses Me to no end, as I’ve said already, but it is also a sound reminder for the lowly creature of his absolute inferiority to the Feminine sex, as it demonstrates how males are grotesque and inadequate when they try to resemble us Women in any way.
So I have decided to put My beast in that awkward and ridiculous situation, as I intend to give him a salutatory lesson about a few important matters. Such as the relentless abuse and misogyny displayed by some conservatives against Women, some of the despicable and cowardly legislation that is trying to get passed by all sorts of sly means. But do not let the silliness of the slave’s endeavors to act and walk like a Woman lessen or dilute the seriousness of the lessons I’m giving him. Those are important matters however lightly and humorously I am ingraining them into the servile male psyche to raise his awareness about such societal issues and make him see them in the only proper light: Mine.
Intrinsically a Mistress is always generous with Her slaves. To start with, She is already infinitely generous to tolerate them as Her slaves, of course. Not to mention to allow them to breathe. (Well, that is, when She’s not chocking them for fun ;D) But when a Keeper is condescending to lend any attention to Her males, whatever attention, She is extraordinarily generous. As, for example, when She is teaching them about anti-Women legislation, or whatever societal issues She deems important for them to learn about and to adopt Her views on the matter. And if a Mistress deigns to crop Her slaves, She is simply going out of Her way in terms of generosity. Now, what are slaves for if not to suffer at the hands of their Keepers, for Her sole satisfaction? Who would not concur there could be no better reason for male dog slaves to be degraded or subjected to harsh punishments than to provide pleasure and amusement for their Owners? That is the reason why I own My dog slaves: so that I can exploit and oppress them for My convenience and gain, naturally, but also to make them squirm and squeal under My whip, at My whim, whenever I want to vent off My annoyance for the misogyny of males in society and all the crap the despicable creatures represent. Yes, My males will suffer for this; I will make sure they pay for their sex, even though they have embraced their inferiority and servitude to Women. This is what is just and right, for this is My justice that I deign to inflict on My creatures. And I can assure you they embrace it with such fervor and gratitude. Poor things, it is really touching.
female supremacy, female supremacist, saharah eve, saharaheve, female-led relationships
 
 
 
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Shaving a slave's head

September 6th, 2013

female supremacy, female supremacist, saharah eve, saharaheve, female-led relationships
Some may argue that a slave still remains a person, and why not? But to Me, that’s neither here nor there. A slave is first and foremost a s-l-a-v-e. And that is all.

A commodity, a piece of property, a tool, a beast of burden, a toy or whatever his Keeper wants it to be. In My book, that means interchangeable, easily replaceable, totally expendable.

Even if, as with many other Women, I will at times enjoy finding in a slave an intuitive creature who is quite capable of interesting conversation, thoughtful attentions and educated understanding.

I do appreciate such precious qualities and want to be able to switch them on and off at My leisure. But it makes no difference to the basic fact that a slave is and will always remain just and only that: a slave.

It is absolutely essential that subservient males must never be allowed to forget that reality.

That is why I want My slaves to be constantly reminded of their servile condition so that they could never entertain the delusion of being permitted to step out of it. And for this, there’s nothing like the good old recipes.

You know that saying, clothes don’t make the man? Well, maybe so, but no clothes at all do make the slave.

At least in My world, which is all that matters to Me and My males anyway. Oh yes, appearances do matter and the only piece of clothing I’ll allow My slaves is a good, sturdy, iron collar.

There’s nothing like taking his clothes away to make a male feel all the extent of his lowly, servile condition.

Yet, that’s still not enough for My taste.

So I recently decided to shear My slave’s hair, to further deprive him of his personality traits and ingrain even deeper in his subservient psyche the absolute extent of his abasement and depersonalization.

The results went even beyond My expectations. Naked as a worm! Lol – And it worked wonders on the silly beast. It made him happy too.

That is, after the initial shock. Well, anyway, I’m sure it will make him happy in the long run. The way he was expressing his gratitude immediately afterwards was quite touching.

And it did improve his slavishness and eagerness to serve Me, no doubt. Once again, I’m pleased with My brilliant idea.

And those that know Me, of course I taped the whole event. I was not going to deprive Myself of the pleasure of replaying it once in a while.

And in My immense generosity, I decided to share this moment with you, if only for educational purposes, for Mistresses and slaves alike.

Expectations of a Slave

May 17th, 2013

heidiwslaveblogupdates
As I have mentioned recently, I do accept that My slaves love Me.  In so doing, I know I am showing exceptional leniency and openness of mind.

It is indeed very generous of Me since by condescending to tolerate a slave’s adoration for Me, no matter how far beneath Me, how insignificant he might be as a male, I acknowl

I do see it as only natural that a male should be consumed with love for Me, his Keeper.  I even accept his being haunted permanently by My beauty.  Providing his carnal desires remain strictly chastised and reigned in, I see them as conducive to the perfect servility I demand of him.

I am after all a Goddess to My lowly creature, the incarnation of the Feminine ideal, the inaccessible idol he’s sacrificing all, freedom, comfort, even security to serve for life.

I see no reason to reject his passionate love any more than I’d reject the loyal affection of My dog.  And just as with a dog, depending on My whim, at times I will reward him with My attention, even My affection.

A good slave will receive such exceptional gestures of appreciation from his Mistress as priceless gifts from his inaccessible Goddess.

He will cherish them and they will serve to reinforce his eternal devotion and gratitude for Me.  But there are also those males who, never fully resigned to their abject servitude, probably suffering from delusions of equality with their Keeper, will want to exploit Her empathy, seeing a chance to inch their way into some sentimental, reciprocal attachment with Her.

Soon, misunderstanding any benevolent signs of kindness from Her, they will begin to feel entitled to love and respect, even romance, in return for their own needy passion.

This can never be tolerated. This is tantamount to leaping on the couch for a dog in some pitiful attempt at feeling comfortable on an equal footing with his Mistress.

A slave is a slave, period.   And while a slave is still human, he must know and embrace he can never entertain any hope of getting above his servile condition.

In My house, slaves are animals, they belong to the ground at My feet, groveling.  While I welcome– on My terms, sincere displays of their absolute adoration and love for Me, and I will often graciously reward such with an affectionate pat.

I will mercilessly crush any symptoms of sentimental greed, entitlement, jealousy.  They are not the genuine expressions of the selfless, servile love I expect of My slaves but on the contrary they reveal an unhealthy resurgence of rebellious male ego.

I know the signs.  I will recognize them immediately and I will act swiftly, crushing the culprit with merciless severity.

Nanshakh's Written and Visual Heroic Fantasies of a FemDom/Female Supremacy World

March 7th, 2009

It’s fairly common knowledge that a portion of BDSM erotica books are written by submissive men who use Female pen names—this makes sense as the stories are male-centric in nature. And what better way to describe a male’s sexual turn-ons than to have the stories written by an author who is himself “male”.

Male authors, in other genres, have also written books under Female pen names, e.g., Harold Lowry, writing under Leigh Greenwood.

A good book is a good book no matter the sex of the author.  That being said, there is one fantastic author of heroic, FemDom/Female Supremacy fantasy who is 100% male and writes as a male.

Not only does he write exciting FemDom fantasy stories, he’s also an artist.  His name is Nanshak.  He’s a man who knows FemDom beyond the dimensions of fantasy— he has lived the daily reality of it.

And not as a fun, fetish-party weekend “slave”; rather, he was a TPE consensual slave.  Thus, when he creates his images, he is doing so from primal understanding and first hand experience.

This minor fact adds a seductive allure to his stories and drawings, and places him in a unique category onto his own.