With all due respect, for you to place most dommes in the category of women who just please male fetishes and leave yourself out is a little much. Yes you may “enjoy” treating men like puppies and dogs, pissing on them, sitting on their faces, shocking them and everything else you “like” do, but these are all things that were initially imagined by the male mind. Just like almost all dominatrices who claim they are so real, so “lifestyle”, so not doing what the men tell them too when in actuality they are. Femdom completely is male fantasy. It’s like a video a game. Yes you the player can walk wherever you like in the game, change your outfits within the game, and do different special combinations, but at the end of the day the name of the game and software was developed by perverted feminine degrading patriarchal culture, and the goal of that game is to either make them cum in some weird way, or put off their orgasm. Just like most dommes you just separate yourself from the “others” because you are successful at being spoiled. It’s just like courtesans who say they aren’t prostitutes cause they aren’t walking the streets. Just because you deal with a male of “higher” caliber doesn’t make you not what you are, an objectified automated female robot toy programmed to dominate and doesn’t realize it. Just like I know you will like to think that your fake boobs, fake nails, fake hair are all just a natural expression of your femininity and has nothing to do with pleasing men. We both know that isn’t true. We know women didn’t invent these things, didn’t need those things, and those things were developed to make woman in man’s ideal plastic image. That’s who you are despite how smart or how well put together you are.
Again I’m not saying this to be disrespectful, but I get tired of hearing certain females make it seem like they built the house they live in. You are a male sexual object. All your interests in subjugating males were introduced to you by males and their cocks. You just made their interests your own because you sleep in a bed that they purchased, and travel and live at their expense. Which nothing is really wrong with that. But I challenge you to “enslave” these boys without treating them like animals, without hurting or “degrading” them. Or can you? I would like to see you express your dominance outside of the male imagination, without “using their desires against them”. Only then will you be doing what you for you and not to upkeep a fantasy world for lowly perverted males. Otherwise you will only be dealing in the realm of pleasing them, directly or indirectly. I would also bring it to your attention that matriarchal means mother-centered, which doesn’t mean female-centered. A matriarchy is a culture, a community, an economy, that includes women, their families, and their environment, not a male constructed fantasy. To bring up the word matriarchy means to invoke ancient cultures where mothers dominated not through degradation or pissing on people but because of their true feminine powers of giving and sustaining life, human and non-human. I would like to see “matriarchal” dommes think in those terms.
It may surprise you to hear me say that it is you, actually, who is the instrument of “the patriarchy”, as much as you may not think you are.
Scratching your head? Please allow me to explain.
In general, your leeriness of male influence and meddling in the world has a definite thread of wisdom, but they way I see it, taking it to this paranoid extreme serves as nothing more than the ultimate way to strip Women of their sexual power, influence and dominance.
In your world view, Women are destined to be sex objects no matter what, apparently. How very convenient that:
a. being a sex object is unavoidable, and
b. you have consigned yourself to the shell game—purposefully or inadvertently—that being a sex object is inherently bad in this day and age.
I was surprised to learn after reading your words that everything I think and every action I take in my dominance with my males (or appreciation for my own Feminine aesthetic as well, it seems) is somehow a contrivance of males and male thinking and male influence and male directives.
To that I say, with all due respect in return, nonsense.
I do understand the ways the sexes influence one another.
Women, just like men, do not and most likely will not ever live in a vacuum from each other.
We influence and are influenced by the opposite sex in ways big and small; this is inevitable and ultimately apparent to a mature, rational thinker who isn’t afraid of getting cooties or being in the presence of an unabashed erection.
With that being said, your insistence that I’m just another cloned fetish robot that never had an original thought in her head when it came to dominating men is not only ludicrous (given that you don’t know me and have never been privy to my formative thoughts) but also (and rather ironically, I might add) underscores how original I really am, in the end—if we buy into your idea that all Women are various permutations of Stepford
Wives obeying the supreme male directive. Fortunately, that’s just not true.
Females have fully functioning brains, and can have brazen thoughts of their own. What a novel idea!
You see, when I was in elementary school, my friends and I enjoyed picking on the boys we liked.
We would tease them, taunt them, manipulate them, and sometimes downright torture them, and not out of hostility either, but a desire to “have fun”.
I can personally remember accounts of us Girls holding boys down and slow-drolling our spit right into their mouths, or outrunning and tackling young males on the recess field for the sheer thrill of it.
They grew to love the attention and would tease us back to try and get our attention all over again. I enjoyed having boys carry my books for me or fetch things out of my locker for me later on in junior high.
I called them my “go get it” boys. During these times I was wholeheartedly enjoying the influence and power I had over the males of my age, and this is long before I came to put words to the things I did.
This was also all without the aid of the internet and BDSM porn so ever-present with the click of a mouse today.
I suppose the patriarchy was influencing me in some other way, even then?
Perhaps it was in the school’s Kool Aid or peanut butter bars? Mmmm, peanut butter bars! Remember those?
Anyway, regarding your assertions of objectifying myself for men in everything I do, I’d would say you do have a very narrow and once again limited view on who I am and how I live my life.
Has it ever dawned upon you that we Women sometimes enjoy getting our nails done and hair dolled up all of Our own accord?
We no doubt use our make-up and hair styles and long nails and heels to attract and seduce men, but men do the same for us.
Let us pick apart more of your unfortunate (and rather gross) truisms.
You claim that “Femdom” was invented by males.
While some cliché iterations of “Femdom” may be orchestrated solely by the aggregate demand of nutsacks, “Femdom” and Female dominance are not perfectly synonymous anyway, at least not in my book.
There is without a doubt a “product” version of Female dominance in circulation; it is so rapaciously consumed by the types who frequent “dungeons” and pick from a menu what sensation play they require to come out an hour later grinning ear-to-ear.
I don’t want you to think I look down upon these types, or the very talented actresses who often play the parts these men need, but to lump all dominant Females into the same group of “Femdom is a male fantasy” is block headed, utterly ignorant, and smacks of little to no balanced, real-world experience at all;
you are blind (or quite determined not to see) the different forms of Female dominance there are in the world, not to mention the fact that simply because a “pro” serves in one capacity doesn’t mean She isn’t being served in another—or is everything so absolute and bi-level to you?
Further, to say Female dominance is wholly and completely a product and invention of the male not only goes against the living example that I know I am,
but also requires a fairly lengthy and esteemed peer-reviewed research paper indicating just exactly how this is so.
Somehow I doubt this paper and the exhaustive historic research that accompanies it is actually forthcoming.
Your stance, in one blunt and ignorant motion, denies the origin of dominance having a possibility in the Female sex, and your insistence that it’s all a “video game” that Women are trapped in is cynical, pessimistic,
defeatist, and finally, pro-male propaganda disguising itself as a “reality check”, which does little more than perpetuate the power of its idea, ironically.
We live in a world with a human population of 6.6 billion, roughly half of which is Female, according to sites like Geohive.
Are you saying that out of the 3,386,509,865 Females (calculated in 2008) in the world, not a single one ever conceives on Her own the idea of controlling the man in Her life or dominating him?
Of using Her Female intellect and charms to control him?
Ordering his dinner for him? Deciding on a movie to see for the evening? Insisting on almost always driving? Administering chores in the household? Managing his money?
Insisting on gentlemanly etiquette? Initiating sex and intimacy? Of belting him? Slapping him? Caging him? Sitting on his face? Urinating on him?
Having Her way with him in general?
Honestly, it takes more faith to believe in that than it does to believe the second coming of Christ is soon at hand.
Your insinuations that I do not really like doing what I do are equally untenable, considering I am the only one who can speak with authority on who I am and what I like.
Who invented what—even if it could be proven or even if such a dichotomy made sense to bring up—is wholly and completely irrelevant. I’m quite free to (and do) engage in whatever activities amuse or interest or benefit me, regardless of who first invented this or that.
I have no trouble writing this to you on a computer and operating software that was no doubt conceived, designed and engineered mostly by carriers of the Xy chromosome. Though, Ada Lovelace developed computer algorithms before computers existed, which makes her the world’s first computer programmer.
You further go on to rather “elegantly” state that who and what I am is entirely a product of mens’ cocks.
You place yourself in the lofty position of enlightened mentor to my childish and naive assumptions about men, sex, and more importantly, myself and the entire world I live in.
I wonder, when does my choice to swallow a red or blue pill come in?
Your cited evidence to convince me of my apparent delusions are statements such as “you sleep in a bed that they purchased, and travel and live at their expense”.
Let’s assume for a moment that you know exactly how I make and manage all my income, and what I have is all purchased at the expense of men.
I say: so what? But adding further on to this, I’ll now touch upon the reality: the bed I sleep in was paid for by me, if you must know.
The house I live in is paid for by me too, as are many of my possessions.
Those things that I do receive from men are a direct result of my efforts, intellect, imagination, will, and desire, not to mention their hard-earned money and obsequious attention.
I think it’s fair to say you don’t have much of a point thus far, if you care to read between the lines.
You further go on in inviting me to express my dominance with my males outside of the male imagination, without “using their desires against them”.
Why? Is not taking male intellect and imagination, desire and instinct into account when dominating them the supposed high road?
If so, I have quite a few lifestyle friends from “both sides of the whip”, as they say, who would take issue with that idea, and they aren’t victims of pro-male propaganda.
And, perhaps the jewel of all your statements: “Only then will you be doing what you do for you and not to upkeep a fantasy world for lowly perverted males.
Otherwise you will only be dealing in the realm of pleasing them, directly or indirectly.”
I find your outlook on the company I keep fairly insulting and tremendously misinformed—and that’s putting it nicely.
Who is this person who speaks to me as if she/he has the authority and worldliness to dictate when or how or why my dominance with my males is real or not?
Further, I find this need to discard male pleasure as a prerequisite of “real” Female dominance a foolish and unrealistic (and not to mention inhuman) notion.
Per your obviously polarized and distorted outlook on Female dominance and male submission, you are in no position to lecture to me on what it is that I do and enjoy.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Female dominance is real.
It doesn’t matter that men in our lives are also getting what they want.
We Women are getting what we want three-fold over, and the only limits inhibiting a Woman’s power or the horizons to which She can take Herself are her own cynicism and lack of imagination.
Just because we may use our sexuality to turn heads, gain admirers, clients, lovers and slaves doesn’t make us victims. This is a new age, and new battle lines in the war of the sexes are being drawn in many parts of the world. In fact, they are being moved, broken and ultimately blurred.
As the dust settles with each new renovation, things are looking pretty good for Women. Things aren’t looking much like a war at all, in fact. While there is still much to be done for the betterment of Women, it’s important to keep in mind the virtues of a modern western society, if you are so inclined to live in one.
As for you personally, I’m sorry you live in such a pessimistic and paranoid world that you believe there is a phantom phallus lodged permanently in all Women’s actions and motives. It must be awful really believing that.
P.s. For the record:
1. A family, society, community or state governed by Women.
2. A form of social organization in which the Mother is head of the family, and in which descent is reckoned in the Female line.
Source: Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary (I can quote Oxford too, if you like).
Lest there be any doubt, it’s both definitions I include when I speak of matriarchy. You’re free to insist definition two is the only relevant item, but it doesn’t mean we have to listen to you.