Misunderstood: The Unconventional World of Autogynephiles

June 23rd, 2018

When our sexual tastes aren’t perfectly aligned with what society allows us to enjoy, the bar of difficulty in finding someone to love, and one that will be receptive to that love, rises substantially higher. There are some men who, despite their sexual orientations, enjoy imitating Women, and this act of transformation is self-arousing. Men with this form of cross-dressing fetish engage in what is called “autogynephilia,” and it’s one of the hardest things they endure in the attempt to be accepted in intimate relationships. Autogynephilia’s Greek translation is “love of oneself as a Woman,” and is a term coined in 1989 by Dr. Raymond Blanchard to refer to a man’s tendency to be sexually aroused by the image of himself as a Woman.

We live in a world that is widely sensational and ill-informed, and because of this, a great deal of ignorance exists regarding men with these preferences. The first (and perhaps most obvious) misconception is that such men must be homosexual.  The simple fact of a male finding arousal in seeing himself as a Female doesn’t necessarily mean he’s sexually oriented toward males: many are heterosexual and still desire a relationship with a Woman. Therein lies the rub: a man coming to terms with this reality often finds himself severely stereotyped. If he’s too open about it— there will likely be a price paid for that openness, and one that will, in all likelihood, be paid through distress, isolation, and depression. Because of this, he’ll usually retreat into the security of conventional relationships and sanctioned sexual expressions allotted to his sex, or the auspices of these things, in the very least. He’ll marry a Woman and secret away his underlying urges under the naive yet prevailing logic that he can hide it all. But as Phillip K. Dick once wrote, Reality denied comes back to haunt. What is pushed underground eventually finds its way up into in the picturesque world of normalcy, slowly infecting its waters with angst and frustration. Perhaps a man in this situation thinks he can vent his desires secretly beyond the knowledge of his Wife, but this is a fool’s errand: sooner or later, the Wife, having lived with him under the terminal assumption of his normalcy, discovers the truth. His secrets are often not well understood or accepted especially when found out this way. In fact, the truth of his entire person may very well come under question, and She’s justified in that, if he’s conspired to hide something so important to him from Her knowledge. 

But this is often how it goes. Often, autogynephiles are stereotyped. Most think they are all the same: that they are perverts, predators, inverted misogynists, or just generally unwell—but this is far from the truth. Some do project a sort of inner misogyny as sometimes seen in the FemDom world. But many have a genuine love for Women and honor them. And so it’s not so smart to paint all men who enjoy seeing themselves as Women as negative: as with most things in life, there is a variety of different types, with different motives and dispositions. 

Having been served by such men before, I’ve decided to open My arms to one more again. I’m looking for a male who eroticizes femininity as a part of who he is, though he is not defined by this fetish. He must have a deep love and respect for Women and wishes to enter into a Female-led relationship: with one Woman, long-term. But I’m not looking simply for a fetishist. I want to make that crystal clear. I’m not the type of Woman who offers “sessions” by the hour, nor do I ever open My door to excessive prurience. I’m not into debauchery and cuckholding/swingers type of entertainment. I’m looking for a man who will adore Me and who wants a real relationship with a Woman. He needs to be healthy of mind and body, not weighed down with narcissism. Autogynephiles can be very self-absorbed; you must be different. You must understand what mature love is and how it differs from needy love.

In short, I want a full, broadband human being, not one who sees Me as some sort of one-dimensional image before which he unloads his fetishes. Further, he is at peace with himself, not taxed by “dysphoria” or delusional notions that he is a woman. His penchant to reflect Feminine forms within himself neither invalidates nor encroaches upon his respect for Women. 

Compatibility is important too— just as it is in all other types of relationships. He understands that relationships are forged in chemistry. Mutual priorities and similar likings alone are not enough to sustain a relationship, though. Centering the relationship around the man’s fetish also isn’t what I’m wanting to do. This union will be about serving Me as the true embodiment of the Feminine Divine, with the man as a worshipful adherent to Feminine joys and aesthetics. His desire to transform himself will be indulged but in service to and honor of the Female, and Myself. 

What other qualities do I seek?

1. His fetishes don’t consume him.

2. He bows before Women in gratitude, recognizing them as inspiration to what propels him internally, knowing he could never be a Female, but strives to embody the Feminine in his worship, all the same. 

3. He understands and accepts that fundamentally he’s still male and won’t allow the lines to blur. 

4. He is older. Younger men don’t have the wisdom I seek: they are still evolving. It takes time for males to come to terms with these drives and to know how to properly manifest them.

5. He knows that being exposed and feeling vulnerable in the right hands is a difficult gift to find. He cherishes it. 

6. He’ll value a relationship with the right Woman, and so he will be grateful and attentive toward making it work.

7. He enjoys traveling the world, and his career permits him to travel at least twice a year.

What I’m NOT looking for:

1. Career fetishists and casual BDSM types. I have nothing against BDSM but it attracts a fair sum of prurient hedonists more in love with acts than the essence of a deep, meaningful relationships. 

2. Anyone overly sexual and preoccupied with their fantasies to the exclusion of deeper sincerity. 

3. Cuckholds who are simply looking for bisexual hijinks. Again, strict focus on fetishes is not what I’m after. My dominance is real but it’s organic and is expressed how I desire. I don’t and won’t follow a man’s scripts and psycho dramatics. 

If you think you have all the qualities I seek, I welcome your introductory message. Be prepared for a lengthy vet. Live between the coasts of New Jersey and New Hampshire. Please be between the ages of 38-58. 

You may call Me on Niteflirt or write Me on Fetlife, if you wish — starting July 1, 2018. I may add an email to this blog to use as well.

Thank you!

_________________________________________________

Below are links to help males (and the Women who love them) who may want to better understand Autogynephilia.

A History of Autogynephilia

Autogynephilia and the Typology of Male-to-Female Transsexualism: Concepts and Controversies

What Autogynephilia is, and what is it not; a brief note

Pornography and Autogynephilia in the narratives of adult transgender males

New Video Update entitled “Afternoon Whipping 2017” is now available inside the Private Journal of the Member Area.

September 11th, 2017

New Video Update!


 
 
 
 

A Chastity Device For Xy Discipline?

July 19th, 2017

I will avow I’m intrigued by the industry male chastity has become. There are many product choices and their quality ranges from functional to artful. The term “keyholder” is popular, even among the dabblers, too. How nice! That male seed retention has increased in popularity—even if a “diversionary fetish”—puts a smile on My face. An industry can only be as successful as the demand for it, and it’s very telling considering how popular these items have become.
As I’ve expressed in previous threads, though I highly promote and enforce seed retention and the male discipline that inevitably goes along with it, I’m more of a shock device kinda gal, and for that reason I have made makeshift zappers from canine shock collars. You can now find customized shock products specifically for male discipline through the use of a bracelet remote with options.
Unfortunately, males don’t come out of the box already trained to do dishes, clean toilets, scrub floors, do laundry, vacuum and generally work their asses off for you with passion, and even the most well intentioned men often need a little incentive to have the pep we Women are really looking for. What I’ve always liked about shock systems is their “in the moment effectiveness”—not just in delivering tremendous pain to the most sensitive area, but in terms of the worry of it being delivered.
That sort of low-involvement behavioral control for Me is ideal, though I won’t deny that there are plenty of opportunities for crops and whips, too—when I’m in the mood or need to make something doubly clear (not to be confused with when I just whip My man for fun).
Now as far as chastity devices go, I tend to operate a little differently with most, not all, of My slaves. While many of these types of products are understandably intriguing for the kinky male’s imagination (one of My longest standing slave), in every day capacity, I personally don’t find much use for metal and plastic cock blockers nor do I see them as ultimately effective as they can be painful. In a nutshell (pun intentional) I prefer a male to have the self-control and devotion to not spill his stuff when a breeze so much as grazes his genitals.
Part of My doctrine involves fostering internal self-discipline as a form of worship to Me. That and something called trust. I even encourage frequent and prolonged erections during meditative worship on My image or body in the flesh—so long as only preejaculate is produced in small amounts. If you are devoted enough to serving Me, you will take to heart how important it is that you keep your sexual energies constantly revved. I like My men passionately erect—literally and figuratively; they are so much more loving and obsequious when they are—as any dominant Woman with some experience under Her belt will tell you.
One small note to My fellow Sisters: male chastity devices are useful for men from time to time to avoid the unfortunate spillage that can occur through wet dreams, if such things become a potential problem. My longest standing slave, the horn-dog that he is, fits this perfectly. LOL
The trial and error that occurs through psychological chastity training is definitely well worth the effort; you will see your male take on a new energy with his libido bolted firmly in place (figuratively speaking, that is)!

All content in this post © 2011 SaharahEve.com

Letter from Prospective Slave

April 2nd, 2017

From time to time, I share with you certain letters we receive.  Here’s one.  I’ll be elaborating more inside the private journal as I have an upcoming “slave interview” with him.  I will film this interview as I have the others.  Look out for the video coming soon.

Dear SaharahEve,

My experience meeting you:

I will say that I have been following Saharah Eve for a number of years as an acolyte. I recently made contact with her on Night Flirt to see about meeting her as part of my path to slavery to her (to see if this was even obtainable).

I sent a letter of introduction (an essay of sorts) that spoke to my idea of how i viewed submission and desire to follow that into the ultimate paradise….slavery. After talking with Saharah Eve on the phone (emails, sending photos and essay) We/we agreed to meet for a dinner and light drinks.

The moment i saw her walk up and greet me with a hug was unbelievable…we seemed to start talking almost immediately…she asked about my background and some on how i veiwed myself…..I have a PhD and am a geek at heart.

Her personality, Her demeanor, Her beauty, all combined with her confidence.. that unspoken “knowing” of Her Superiority..and an immediate consensual sense of my place ….beneath Her.

She was soft spoken, very engaging, enthusiastic about learning new things, optimistic, and most of all her contentment, with Her position of power…ruling over those beneath Her….males….as it should be.

I am not sure that i have ever met someone that conveyed without saying a word such power in such a wonderful person ever before.

After hearing her speak for a few minutes i realized that i was in the presence of greatness.

Her attitude and the confidence of her personality confirmed my desire to meet and work my way to becoming her slave. The way She is makes you want to serve Her, obey Her, make her smile, She does this all with just Her Persona – Presence.

NAME OMITTED
 

The Nuisances of Populated Streets and Leash Walking

July 11th, 2014

blogunpopulatedstreets
I have never made it a secret that I find pleasure in publicly walking a slave on a leash.  Instances of Myself doing so abound in this site —  both in photos and movies.  I know I am not alone as many more wonderful Mistresses are starting to showcase their pets in this manner.  🙂  For Me personally it is one of those little things of daily life to which I am very attached.  First and foremost because I derive tremendous satisfaction from it, of course.  I always enjoy showing a man his true place — at My heel, abased and docile, as the domestic animal he is destined to be.  Station reminders are an integral part of the strict discipline I impose upon My slaves.  Secondly, I enjoy doing it in public because it engenders an increased educational value  both for the slave and the public too.  No doubt many people will be impressed by the natural elegance of an attractive Woman who casually holds a male on a leash throughout the city sidewalks and markets.  Many men, and even more importantly Women, will be seduced by the important statement it makes.  I can not help smiling when I think of all the sleepless nights I must have inflicted in this way.  Lastly, let us not forget it is very salutary for the slave’s mental hygiene and You all know how, as a responsible Keeper, I make it a point to keep My slaves perfectly healthy in this regard.  No doubt I have often expended here on the benefits for the slave to be paraded in public at the end of a leash  or even trotting on all fours beside His Keeper.
When kept on leash a slave of Mine finds his natural place and embraces the sanctity of his servile condition.  He is proud of being exposed by Me for what he truly is: a piece of property, a domesticated creature irreversibly attached to Me — pun intended.  And he certainly does not feel any shame or humiliation as his attention is entirely centered upon Me and he is only concerned with how he is besotted by My authority and instead of feeling awkward because of the gawks and bewildered looks he feels ennobled by being leashed to Me, belonging to My retinue and by participating to My stature, however menially.  The leash has deprived him of any reason -or right- for self consciousness; he knows instinctively he does not exist as a person anymore and that all eyes are upon Me.  No one pays any attention to a slave— people only see the leash and then the elegant, manicured hand that is firmly holding it.  He is mindful of doing honor to his Mistress, of having the perfect behavior She expects of him.  He is proud of having the same importance to My standing as My purse or My shoes and knows that I will expect his conduct to be at all times as spotless as any part of My attire.
It amuses Me when I hear some people  from within the Femdom crowd talk about the “public humiliation” of being taken on a leash by a Woman.  How could it possibly be humiliating for a slave to be displayed by his Owner for what he truly is: Her property.  Of course he is proud that She deigns to parade him as such.  He is thrilled She chose to take him out with Her like Her purse or Her scarf.  Some take an umbrella in case it might rain, exactly the same way as I might take a slave if I am going for a walk and I think I might have some use for him, e.g., to sit on him in the park, to get a foot massage, or carry My bags if I indulge in some impromptu shopping.  Can you imagine the joy of any of My slaves when I am so generous as to choose to take them out for such purposes?  They are even more excited than My dog —  I mean the real, canine one 😉  Were it not for their perfect training  I could find My slaves waiting sitting by the front door, the leash in their mouths.  So I wonder why so many people come up with that sentiment about humiliation.  It is a grace I bestow on a slave when I take him out on a leash.
Unfortunately, things have deteriorated in recent years thus the satisfaction I can derive from leash walking a slave in public has considerably waned.  To the point where I seriously wonder if I will keep indulging in that innocent habit of Mine much longer.  No sooner do I appear tugging a slave along that tons began to follow, tripping over themselves I might add.  It has come to the point where it takes away some pleasure and I am not sure I will keep doing that much longer.  Of course I could avoid this nuisance by sticking to deserted streets, but then unpopulated streets do defeat the purpose of the exercise, don’t they?  When I leash walk a slave I am taking My Female Supremacist lifestyle to the public square and I am making an important statement.  Yes, some Women keep their males on a leash.  Some Women rule and there is no shortage of males they can choose from to domesticate.  This is My world and I certainly am not apologetic for it; I make it a point of exercising My right to flaunt it when and where it pleases Me just the same as others are showing off their own lifestyles and choices.  This is the place I have for males in My life — at the end of My leash, at My beck and call.  My subservient males are part of My standing.  I do not see why I could not conveniently take one out on a leash in the same way a gay couple can walk hand in hand or other people choose to display their religious bonds with ostentatious costumes.  It is all about bonding after all, right? 😉
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Flavors of Psychosexual Dominance: My Philosophy Behind Smothering Slaves

June 11th, 2014

The eroticism and fun of smothering slaves…by now you realize I have a bit of a knack for it, but more broadly speaking, human nature seems to as well. Stop to think about it for a moment: how often do you see Women fantasizing about receiving this treatment? Much like foot worship, men seem naturally acclimated toward paying homage to the nether regions of Females. They can’t help fantasizing about being our footstools and seats, but the desire for this dynamic is suspiciously absent in reverse, isn’t it? Having the agency of an alpha Female, I see this simple truth and revel in smothering men, as is only right…as is only natural. My ass above them, taking the very air from their lungs, blinding them, filling their mouths and nostrils with the scents and tastes of Me…it is a reminder of the control I have over their lives, of how I encompass them wholly and weigh down heavily upon their lives. My essence permeates them and crushes them. The act of smothering, then, is not simply sexual or functional: it is deeply symbolic of the relationship shared between Me and My groveling males.
blog-smothering
 
 

When the Virtual Metamorphoses Into a Reality

May 14th, 2014

 
public_blog_nyc_flag.jpg
Often times online references to “slavery” are not talking about slavery but rather the simulation of slavery; a fun fantasy adults engage in behind closed doors or a commercial venture for porn companies or Pro-Dominatrices.  For a small handful of others, slavery is a very real, choice-based way of life.

Cross-Dressing Slave's Lesson On Roe vs. Wade and Constitutional Undermining by "Anti-Women-Autonomy" State Legislators

January 26th, 2014

Of course My faithful readers know that I am always ready to use a slave for My entertainment. This is a pleasant recreation when the beast is not busy toiling for Me. Not so recreational for him, maybe, but for Me it is good fun– which is all that matters. Sometimes I particularly enjoy feminizing a male, not only is his pathetic attempts to dress like a Woman and mimic Feminine grace quite hilarious, but ridiculing the miserable creature serves multiple purposes. First it amuses Me to no end, as I’ve said already, but it is also a sound reminder for the lowly creature of his absolute inferiority to the Feminine sex, as it demonstrates how males are grotesque and inadequate when they try to resemble us Women in any way.
So I have decided to put My beast in that awkward and ridiculous situation, as I intend to give him a salutatory lesson about a few important matters. Such as the relentless abuse and misogyny displayed by some conservatives against Women, some of the despicable and cowardly legislation that is trying to get passed by all sorts of sly means. But do not let the silliness of the slave’s endeavors to act and walk like a Woman lessen or dilute the seriousness of the lessons I’m giving him. Those are important matters however lightly and humorously I am ingraining them into the servile male psyche to raise his awareness about such societal issues and make him see them in the only proper light: Mine.
Intrinsically a Mistress is always generous with Her slaves. To start with, She is already infinitely generous to tolerate them as Her slaves, of course. Not to mention to allow them to breathe. (Well, that is, when She’s not chocking them for fun ;D) But when a Keeper is condescending to lend any attention to Her males, whatever attention, She is extraordinarily generous. As, for example, when She is teaching them about anti-Women legislation, or whatever societal issues She deems important for them to learn about and to adopt Her views on the matter. And if a Mistress deigns to crop Her slaves, She is simply going out of Her way in terms of generosity. Now, what are slaves for if not to suffer at the hands of their Keepers, for Her sole satisfaction? Who would not concur there could be no better reason for male dog slaves to be degraded or subjected to harsh punishments than to provide pleasure and amusement for their Owners? That is the reason why I own My dog slaves: so that I can exploit and oppress them for My convenience and gain, naturally, but also to make them squirm and squeal under My whip, at My whim, whenever I want to vent off My annoyance for the misogyny of males in society and all the crap the despicable creatures represent. Yes, My males will suffer for this; I will make sure they pay for their sex, even though they have embraced their inferiority and servitude to Women. This is what is just and right, for this is My justice that I deign to inflict on My creatures. And I can assure you they embrace it with such fervor and gratitude. Poor things, it is really touching.
female supremacy, female supremacist, saharah eve, saharaheve, female-led relationships
 
 
 
Cross-dressing dog
sissy
 

Shaving a slave's head

September 6th, 2013

female supremacy, female supremacist, saharah eve, saharaheve, female-led relationships
Some may argue that a slave still remains a person, and why not? But to Me, that’s neither here nor there. A slave is first and foremost a s-l-a-v-e. And that is all. A commodity, a piece of property, a tool, a beast of burden, a toy or whatever his Keeper wants it to be. In My book, that means interchangeable, easily replaceable, totally expendable. Even if, as with many other Women, I will at times enjoy finding in a slave an intuitive creature who is quite capable of interesting conversation, thoughtful attentions and educated understanding. I do appreciate such precious qualities and want to be able to switch them on and off at My leisure. But it makes no difference to the basic fact that a slave is and will always remain just and only that: a slave.
It is absolutely essential that subservient males must never be allowed to forget that reality. That is why I want My slaves to be constantly reminded of their servile condition so that they could never entertain the delusion of being permitted to step out of it. And for this, there’s nothing like the good old recipes. You know that saying, clothes don’t make the man? Well, maybe so, but no clothes at all do make the slave. At least in My world, which is all that matters to Me and My males anyway. Oh yes, appearances do matter and the only piece of clothing I’ll allow My slaves is a good, sturdy, iron collar. There’s nothing like taking his clothes away to make a male feel all the extent of his lowly, servile condition.
Yet, that’s still not enough for My taste. So I recently decided to shear My slave’s hair, to further deprive him of his personality traits and ingrain even deeper in his subservient psyche the absolute extent of his abasement and depersonalization. The results went even beyond My expectations. Naked as a worm! Lol – And it worked wonders on the silly beast. It made him happy too. That is, after the initial shock. Well, anyway, I’m sure it will make him happy in the long run. The way he was expressing his gratitude immediately afterwards was quite touching. And it did improve his slavishness and eagerness to serve Me, no doubt. Once again, I’m pleased with My brilliant idea.
And those that know Me, of course I taped the whole event. I was not going to deprive Myself of the pleasure of replaying it once in a while. And in My immense generosity, I decided to share this moment with you, if only for educational purposes, for Mistresses and slaves alike.

Expectations of a Slave

May 17th, 2013

heidiwslaveblogupdates
As I have mentioned recently, I do accept that My slaves love Me.  In so doing, I know I am showing exceptional leniency and openness of mind.  It is indeed very generous of Me since by condescending to tolerate a slave’s adoration for Me, no matter how far beneath Me, how insignificant he might be as a male, I acknowledge he is still worthy of loving Me sincerely, selflessly, and humbly.
I do see it as only natural that a male should be consumed with love for Me, his Keeper.  I even accept his being haunted permanently by My beauty.  Providing his carnal desires remain strictly chastised and reigned in, I see them as conducive to the perfect servility I demand of him.  I am after all a Goddess to My lowly creature, the incarnation of the Feminine ideal, the inaccessible idol he’s sacrificing all, freedom, comfort, even security to serve for life.  I see no reason to reject his passionate love any more than I’d reject the loyal affection of My dog.  And just as with a dog, depending on My whim, at times I will reward him with My attention, even My affection.  A good slave will receive such exceptional gestures of appreciation from his Mistress as priceless gifts from his inaccessible Goddess.  He will cherish them and they will serve to reinforce his eternal devotion and gratitude for Me.  But there are also those males who, never fully resigned to their abject servitude, probably suffering from delusions of equality with their Keeper, will want to exploit Her empathy, seeing a chance to inch their way into some sentimental, reciprocal attachment with Her.  Soon, misunderstanding any benevolent signs of kindness from Her, they will begin to feel entitled to love and respect, even romance, in return for their own needy passion.
This can never be tolerated. This is tantamount to leaping on the couch for a dog in some pitiful attempt at feeling comfortable on an equal footing with his Mistress.  A slave is a slave, period.   And while a slave is still human, he must know and embrace he can never entertain any hope of getting above his servile condition.  In My house, slaves are animals, they belong to the ground at My feet, groveling.  While I welcome– on My terms, sincere displays of their absolute adoration and love for Me, and I will often graciously reward such with an affectionate pat.  I will mercilessly crush any symptoms of sentimental greed, entitlement, jealousy.  They are not the genuine expressions of the selfless, servile love I expect of My slaves but on the contrary they reveal an unhealthy resurgence of rebellious male ego.   I know the signs.  I will recognize them immediately and I will act swiftly, crushing the culprit with merciless severity.