Firstly I’d like to say that like countless other minions, I am wholly in awe of your work and the very image of you makes me ache painfully; and therein lies the rub. I am 44, a virgin, and, to be perfectly blunt, profoundly dysfunctional. Despite being culturally and intellectually inquisitive, I have failed comprehensively to accede to virtually all of society’s demands, and live a full of near unbearable isolation and privation.
My greatest problem though, is that while my desire for Female Domination is hard-wired and irrevocable — as indeed is my yen for a Female led relationship based on principles of Female Supremacy – I struggle with feelings of aggression and bitterness towards women and society in general, because of my extreme loneliness.
I worry that I might implode, or worse, explode; so extensive is the deterioration of my sense of optimism about ever making any of this happen. The internet has proved worse than useless and if anything, has simply served to augment my despondency.
A non-professional Domme who is empathetic, patient and prepared to help me strip away the guilt, hurt, anger and self loathing so that I might achieve that blissful, unencumbered sense of submission I have yearned for since my early teens, seems an almost impossible chimera.
slave james (lower case entirely deliberate)
There are far more relationships in the gamut of human interactions than merely sexual ones, but each is a form of relationship, and most of them are not predicated upon the pleasures of flesh at all. If you look around you in life, you may not find yourself as alone as your sexual frustrations would have you believe.
First and foremost, I want to draw that line of clarity about life, in general. Unless you live in monk-like seclusion from all of society, you are interacting with people.
You have relationships—no matter how fleeting—with the opposite sex. The difference is you want a sexual relationship with a Female and the intimacy that comes with it.
You clearly missed out on physical sexual exploration in your younger years, but the good news is it’s not too late to still pursue this.
Also please keep in mind that We Women, for as beautiful as We may be, often find it very difficult to find quality males in Our lives. We go from one to the next to the next, looking for a man with a flashlight, so to speak—a man who gets it and isn’t…well, repulsive.
That takes a lot of searching on Our part. Being supreme over the male, you can only imagine how hard it is for strong, dominant Females to find something of worth to consider keeping as servants or even friends.
With that said, I want to warn you about something very dangerous that seems to be taking root in you, and that is resentment.
You need to drop it cold, or it’s going to eat you alive. Women are not to blame for your anger.
Your need to conform to some idea that you shouldn’t be a virgin is what’s really to blame, and that is being sourced from you—not Women.
You see, in a way, you’re sitting upon a throne of your own making and judging Women, society, and the world. This is what’s feeding your resentment.
You have to break that cycle first. Drop the anger. Drop the judgement, drop the resentment. Make the effort to step away from seducing yourself into these forms of quiet rage.
That’s the first step, James. All the world will be askew until you make the effort to stop giving into the seduction of negative feelings.
Women can smell hatred and dysfunction in a man; We tend to naturally steer from it. With that in mind, you can’t fake stepping away from the anger that binds you, for it will still be discernible in some form within your character (unless you’re very, very good at covering it up, as some are).
While we’re on this subject of anger, I can tell you without even meeting you and knowing anything more about you that Women themselves are not the source of your troubles: it goes much deeper than that and I think you know what I’m talking about.
Whatever happened in your past, you must get over it and put it behind you. Whatever negative relationship you had with your Mother or father, you must lay it to rest and break free of the cycle of venom that binds you here, in this strange place you’ve been in most of your adult life.
There are undertows beyond merely sex and the pursuit of it that have pulled you to where you are now. They are the reason why you may have substance abuse problems, as well.
When you are ready to face your personal demons, I strongly suggest finding a good therapist to work through them.
You could skip that and find a dominant Female to serve, but unless She is well versed in dealing with these maladies and forcing you from them, She’ll only make you worse.
You will become addicted to Her and even more wretched if and when She disposes of you.
What I’m saying is this: sex is a goal you’ve made in your head—a fruit dangling above you, and like Tantalus, you find yourself reaching for this fruit, never to quite grasp it—but what if you did?
What if you were to have sex with a Woman? Would your problems go away? Would all your anger and resentment dissolve overnight? Things to ponder, maybe.
On the flip side, I think you may want to look at the positives to your situation. The fact you’re a virgin at this age makes you quite an interesting specimen for a prospective Mistress, should She decide to claim you.
Your sexual inexperience and the related low esteem is a psychological playground, to say the least.
Imagine if She just decides you’ll always be held in a state of terribly delicious frustration—getting tastes and glimpses of what you’ve missed out on all your life—for Her own benefit and gain.
The fact you’ve been “saved” like this in a state of adult chastity for someone special is a bit of a boon, really. It’s a very unique psychological opportunity in that your hunger can be made into quite a leash.
It’s also nice to know you don’t have any sexually transmitted diseases to worry about. See? There’s a plus side to all this after all.
But truly, James, you need to tackle your anger issues first before those rather rare mental delights can be tapped.
Once you do, who knows? You might just make a wonderful slave to keep.